


Terrible Terrible Consequences

by raven_aorla



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-28
Updated: 2010-03-28
Packaged: 2017-10-08 09:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/75248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raven_aorla/pseuds/raven_aorla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack ficlet, set during the episode "Dalek". So the Dalek has absorbed the entire Internet of 2012. Given what the Internet is like NOW, I shudder to think...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Terrible Terrible Consequences

"That Dalek has just absorbed the entire Internet." The Doctor stared at the monitor while he saw the Dalek flail around. It was giving off sparks and smoking slightly. "I don't think it's going down well."

The Dalek's frantic questions had nearly the same urgency of its screams from torture.

"ANSWER MY QUESTIONS! OBEY! OBEY!

"WHY WOULD A CAT DESIRE A CHEESEBURGER, WHICH IS NOT RELATED TO ANY OF ITS PRIMARY FOODSTUFFS, AND WHERE DOES THIS REQUEST COME FROM? IT IS MY UNDERSTANDING THAT CATS ARE A LIFEFORM INCAPABLE OF ANY FORM OF LITERACY!"

It advanced and killed several more people, but its mind was elsewhere. It continued to sputter and make strange grinding noises.

"IF HUMAN REPRODUCTION IS SO DIFFICULT THAT IT WOULD REQUIRE MILLIONS OF INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEOS AND DIAGRAMS, HOW IS THE POPULATION SO GREAT?"

"Incidentally, how do Daleks reproduce?" Van Statten asked the Doctor.

Goddard was blushing and looked too embarrassed to speak.

"There's a bio-factory. They never touch anything."

The Dalek wailed through the halls, shooting down personnel, sounding in total agony.

"WHAT DOES A TROLL LOOK LIKE AND HOW CAN IT BE EXTERMINATED?

"I SEE TERMS USED SUCH AS "ROFLMAO" AND "WTF" AND "ZOMG" - WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THESE SECRET CODES AND WHY AM I UNABLE TO CRACK THEM? ANSWER ME OR YOU WILL BE DESTROYED!

"EXTERMINATE! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO TEH DALEKS! EXTERMINATE! I AM CONTAMINATED!"

Upon which it exploded.


End file.
